A Touch of Sweden (1971) Joseph F. Robertson

What a cast! Sexploitation fans will be fanning their penises over this all-star lineup! That turbo-bodied tigress USCHI DIGART has gathered together her coital colleagues – including SANDY DEMPSEY, SANDI CAREY, MARIA ARNOLD, PEGGY CHURCH, BARBARA MILLS, and MINDY BRANDT – for some thermonuclear balling.

Touch of Sweden is a great showcase for La Uschi, who stars in and narrates the story in her wonderful syrupy accent. While on vacation in Sweden, Uschi describes her adventures in Hollywood to a wide-eyed plaything. After becoming a star in sex films (like Below the Belt, The Toy Box, Getting Into Heaven, and Russ Meyer’s SuperVixens), the buxotic Usch has a change of heart and says, “I felt guilty. I wanted to do something for humanity.” Everyone’s favorite sex bomb then “helps her fellow man” by becoming a nurse (!) and meeting “the strangest people.” Naturally, Uschi and her fellow nurses offer their own special brand of sexual healing. Bed-hopping includes NORMAN FIELD as a womanizing Groucho Marx impersonator, horny fat guy JACK (The Toy Box) KING, a rump-wrangling barber (JOHN KEITH) who gets a bottle stuck up his ass, fake sheik RON DARBY, The Adult Version of Jekyll & Hide’s JACK BUDDLINER, smut stud JOHN PAUL JONES, and a skirt-chasing Count Dracula who tries to put the bite on Miss Digart.

As usual, Sandy Dempsey and Sandi Carey get their cookie sheets greased. In fact, the whole cast gets played with so often, they should have “Mattel” stenciled on their asses. Touch of Sweden shapes up as a well-made, frequently funny sex romp courtesy of producer/director JOSEPH F. (Love Feast, The Slime People) ROBERTSON who also cameos as both Cecil, a patient who loves knitting, and a drunk who sits outside a phone booth and happily watches Uschi undress. It often unspools like a soft-X episode of Love American Style gone haywire, and is easily worth the price of admission just to see Uschi and her stupendous pontoons in a skin-hugging nurse’s uniform.

Lord have mercy… From the 35mm hospital humping negative.

Date: March 14, 2020