‘Sweet Punkin’ I Love You…. (1976)

Punkin part time adult film star and maid marries the master of the house Mr Crean-Smith. She hopes that all his friends and relatives will accept her into their world of high society.

Masquerading under the nom de film of Robert W. Norman, Roberta Findlay directed one of the big porn hits of its day ANYONE BUT MY HUSBAND. Its success generated two follow-up films also featuring star Tony (The Hook) Perez, the farce DEAR PAM, and this cutesy sex comedy.

C.J. Laing, most impressive deep throat artist of her day, stars as Punkin, a maid who ends up marrying her master Marlow Ferguson (a character actor borrowed from Chuck Vincent’s troupe). Film relentlessly satirizes the class system, as everyone shuns Punkin socially, not recognizing her as an equal.

Notable among the hoity-toity set are Jennifer Jordan and Crystal Sync, who are introduced judging a “who has the bigger dick” contest between Perez and John Holmes. Fellatio is the method of measurement, but results are inconclusive, despite the comical braggadocio of both men, Holmes affecting a Russian accent while Perez speaks like a southern-fried Good Ole Boy.

Film’s central character turns out to be butler Jeffrey Hurst, who narrates and hams it up as a baking fanatic. Findlay’s good old-fashioned sleaze approach is on view, as Hurst joyfully delivers his money shot as literal icing on a cake he’s baked.

The Alpha Blue Archives DVD revival of the film has several reels projected out of order, mere sloppiness perhaps best explained by the notion that no one really cares about the story, only the XXX content. It’s disconcerting to watch nonetheless.

Film’s literal climax, which I recall was a big deal back in the day when I saw it in an adult theater, has C.J. servicing Hurst, Holmes and Perez all together, featuring double penetration action as well as her impressively performing deep throat on both legendary porn artists. Along with guest star Marlene Willoughby, lovably hokey as a French maid who fists Sync in the bathtub, it’s a case of giving the fans what they really want to see.

  • Scene 1. Jennifer Jordan, John Holmes
  • Scene 2. Crystal Sync, Tony Perez
  • Scene 3. C.J. Laing, guy
  • Scene 4. C.J. Laing, Jeffrey Hurst
  • Scene 5. Lorraine Alraune, Jeffrey Hurst
  • Scene 6. Crystal Sync, Marlene Willoughby
  • Scene 7. C.J. Laing, Eric Edwards
  • Scene 8. Marlene Willoughby, Jeffrey Hurst
  • Scene 9. C.J. Laing
  • Scene 10. C.J. Laing, Crystal Sync, Jennifer Jordan, Lorraine Alraune, Jeffrey Hurst, John Holmes, others, Tony Perez
  • Scene 11. C.J. Laing, Jeffrey Hurst, John Holmes, Tony Perez