Sexteen (1975)

Porn icons Jamie Gillis, C.J. Laing and Howard Ziehm/Harry Hopper spent their day off cooking up SEXTEEN, hardly a footnote on any of their careers. Its fantasy element is all that recommends it.

Very, very corny premise has our superstars doing a Scheherezade routine to stave off an Angel of Death (played by a Black actor) come to whisk them off to limbo, hell, purgatory -take your pick. There’s a time limit, and they’ve got to tell him a tale that gets him hard, or else.

First story deals with a Lolita who looks about 13 years old and whose character’s age is bleeped out on the soundtrack when mentioned, a familiar ploy that one sees on vintage jail-bait porn, caused by the unenforced rule that not just actors but also the characters they portray must be 18 and up (this part of the rule was not in effect way back when).

Lolita is masturbating with a huge dildo when caught by her daddy. (Both dad and daughter co-starred with Gillis at this time in the roughie WINTER HEAT.) She gives pop an expert blow job and then he humps her, ending in a facial. Just like in dozens of recent fake-incest videos, he says afterward “Please don’t mention this to mommy”.

This story doesn’t do the trick, and neither does the next boring one about a jogger in central park, a girl who’s an exhibitionist and talks dirty, a big dick, a garter belt and a facial, adding up to generic porn.

Next story is narrated by a Black girl who shows a virgin bride what to do on her wedding night. Featuring mixed-combo action, lesbian sex and a threesome with a bellboy this one gets Death somewhat hard.

Final story has the great Bree Anthony as a French maid working for strict Jennifer Jordan. Roger Caine dressed in fetish gear helps JJ discipline the girl and things get heavy: they chain Bree up and JJ sticks a whip handle into her vagina, plus a d.p. via a dildo in her posterior. JJ follows up by humping Bree with a double-dong dildo.

This kinky saga does the trick and fully-erect Death ends up having anal sex with Laing. All in a day wonder’s work.