Dortoir des grandes (1984)

If this was a typical French dormitory, I would have gone to school in France. I swear I would have. I would still, at the age of 41, be going to school in France. Perhaps sweeping the dormitory floors, still trying to pass freshman algebra while I dispense wisdom to the bubbly French coed perched on my knee.

College Dormitory is hot stuff, especially for the time it was made. The plot is a bit hard to follow in the English version, but who is following the plot? Not me. It is basically about some girls, in a college dorm. That’s enough, you don’t need to know any more, except that they are frequently naked and making out with each other.

They do stripteases for each other, in the dorm. They vie for who gets to make out with the better endowed girls. They admire each others bodies and make dates to make out with each other later. They go on field trips and make out with each other. They watch each other making out. In fact, they do very little except get naked and make out with each other.

Does it get any better than naked French college girls making out with each other? I submit that this is the very peak of modern civilization, and cannot be bested by mere feats of technology, like sending people into space. It should be a recognized art form, for all to admire, like painting, sculpture, or programming in Pascal.

There is a particular style of erotica, uniquely French, and this movie has it in abundance. It is not necessarily explicit, but it is highly erotic, a quality not usually to be found in American movies of any genre, and certainly not to the degree that it is in College Dormitory.

This is a true guilty pleasure.