Trouble Down Below (1981)

The 1981 release date spells an odd-man-out porn film in TROUBLE DOWN BELOW, included on Vol. 106 of Something Weird’s Dragon Art Theatre series, which otherwise is dedicated to movies of the ’70s. Lack of filmmaking ability sinks it without a trace.

Two very, very familiar porn loop faces are featured: Connie Peterson (or Peters) as Helen Heine who was one of the best Swedish Erotica stars that I remember fondly from her innumerable stroke magazine appearances back when. This, along with THE LITTLE FRENCH MAID (a far better showcase) gave her starring roles in feature films.

Also making a strong impression is Tawny Pearl a young cutie with overall tan, underage look, ultra-hairy private parts and pointy breasts. She, too, starred in many loops and is one of the icons used to advertise (and populate) the Teen Lust (Young Lust, bowdlerized) series of videos issued by Alpha Blue Archives.

Film’s premise is that Helen has an anal fixation, with her husband (termed “anal retentive” by shrink Dr. Bill Bascomb) unwilling to service her need. This gimmick leads to Dr. Bill supposedly giving it to Connie in the ass, but the film is so poorly made that any closeup establishing the validity of this act is missing. The shill “Don” for Something Weird fails to inform the potential customer that this is one long cheat (note for future reference to “Don”: doggy-style is not the same as anal sex).

Meanwhile, Helen’s hubby Al is making it with her best friend Carol (the wonderful Maria Tortuga). Male cast is unidentified, and Al is a truly awful non-actor, unable to speak properly and looking around towards the camera for guidance. The actor miscast as the shrink looks like a lounge lizard, doubtful he ever graduated from high school.

An orgy of sorts erupts at a gal pal’s place; she is played by another beauty, Tawny Pearl. Film has zero continuity and makes no sense even on its own terms. Typical of its bait & switch cruelty to the viewer, the finale has the girl donning a strap-on, but “THE END” appears before she gets to use it. Poorly done direct sound recording captures all manner of stray background noise.

One nice touch is that all the beautiful women here wear high heels, and keep them on throughout the sex scenes, avoiding the telltale “dirty feet” syndrome common to most bargain-basement porn at this level. Peterson, whether it’s her makeup or just her personality (no acting is evident), gives off an incredibly slutty, lowdown look which unfortunately was never exploited in a noir or villainess setting.