Liebe in drei Dimensionen (1973)

Because he helmed only five of the thirteen SCHOOLGIRL REPORT movies, I had mistakenly dismissed Walter Boos as little more than producer Wolf Hartwig’s backup director for those rare occasions when the mighty Ernst Hofbauer was unavailable. If Boos is remembered at all today, it’s because of his outrageous softcore EXORCIST cash-in MAGDALENA, POSSESSED BY THE DEVIL (U.S. title: BEYOND THE DARKNESS), but I think a full career reassessment is in order now that I’ve seen the eye-popping LOVE IN 3-D. Not only is it his magnum opus, but it surpasses ANDY WARHOL’S FRANKENSTEIN as the best of the “adults only” 3-D movies of the 1970s. Boasting a fully deserved MPAA rating of X, the episodic West German production was released stateside by Dimension Pictures in 1974, with a re-release in 1977 handled by Monarch Releasing. Top-billed Ingrid Steeger, the impossibly cute blonde who lit up many a Hartwig and Erwin Dietrich production of the period, plays nice girl Peggy in a 3-part story that neatly forms a framing device for four other stories all involving different characters living in an apartment building in Munich. “Love in Schwabing, Part 1” opens with Peggy’s arrival to apartment-sit for her sister Dagmar (Evelyn Reese), who is grabbing one last roll in the sack with her boyfriend before hopping a plane to Africa for a week-long business conference. The couple bangs away in front of Peggy while Dagmar’s parrot tosses out witticisms like “Cock-a-doodle-doo! Everybody screw!” and “Polly wants to crack her!” The sequence would be interminable in any other movie, but Boos and cinematographer Klaus Werner are smart and technically savvy enough to pack the scene with more amusing effects than can be found in the entirety of THE STEWARDESSES and its terrible sequel combined. By the time Steeger turns to the camera to wink at the audience — blinking her eyes in mock focal readjustment instead — the film’s playful tone has been firmly established.
“The first thing is to find a job!” Peggy coos as she strips down for a hot, soapy shower. “There must be something I can do!” Luckily, Dagmar’s boyfriend is too screwed-out to work a garden party with his bartender buddy Manfred (Achim Neumann), so Peggy goes in his place as a barmaid. Their employment is compromised, however, when Manfred assaults a couple of guests who toss Peggy into a swimming pool with a bunch of naked revelers. After a hair-raising ride back to the apartment, Peggy kisses Manfred goodbye and agrees to see him again for a proper date. In “The Rope Trick,” slick womanizer Hugo (Nico Wolferstetter) spies the gorgeous model Nita (Dorith Henke) sunbathing nude on the patio below his apartment window. He locks her outside and steals her clothing with a fishing rod while she dozes. When she awakens and realizes she’s trapped outside with no clothing, he comes to her rescue by throwing a rope down to her so she can climb up to his window — his bedroom window.