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Dracula Sucks (1978)

Plot: Count Dracula (Jamie Gillis), a vampire who’s recently purchased a castle adjacent to a mental institution, as well as his vampire brides, use the patients, and daughters of Dr. Seward, to satisfy a lust for blood and sex.


I’m sure if author Bram Stoker was made aware of what the future held for his 1897 novel, “Dracula,” he would be delighted. There have been movies, T.V. shows, comic books, video games, and entire state fair midway rides devoted to his creation, keeping the brand name going for over a century of horror escapism. Perhaps less appealing to Stoker would be the creation of 1979’s “Dracula Sucks,” the adult film industry’s take on the novel, which transports the gothic, nightmarish tale from Transylvania to the dry, sunny surroundings of rural California, adding bits of comedy and blindfolded editing to summon another take on Stoker’s vision of terror and seduction.

“Dracula Sucks” requires a basic understanding of Stoker’s tale, as the adaptation presented by numerous writers is all over the place, trying to remain faithful to the core relationships that make up the push and pull of the tale, while going off on more than a few tangents with supporting characters who add nothing to the narrative drive. Granted, it’s an adult movie, but director Philip Marshak is really trying to whip up an unusual viewing experience with “Dracula Sucks,” accentuating the titular evil’s (played by Jamie Gillis) path of seduction and manipulation, bringing madness to a desert sanitarium run by Dr. Seward (John Leslie). There’s Mina (Annette Haven), Harker (Paul Thomas), Lucy (Serena), and Renfield (Richard Bulk), but there’s also ample time spent with Dr. Stoker (John Holmes), who factors into the spread of vampirism simply for sexual purposes, as Holmes is one of the few actors permitted to engage in traditional carnal activity. Marshak doesn’t seem all that interested in providing adult stimulation, especially when there are rubber bats to swing around the frame.

  • Scene 1. Annette Haven, Jamie Gillis
  • Scene 2. Pat Manning, Bill Margold
  • Scene 3. Nancy Hoffman, George Lee
  • Scene 4. Serena, Mike Ranger
  • Scene 5. Slavica, Mitch Morrill
  • Scene 6. Irene Best, John Holmes
  • Scene 7. Serena, Jamie Gillis
  • Scene 8. Serena, Mike Ranger
  • Scene 9. Seka, Paul Thomas
  • Scene 10. Nancy Hoffman, Slavica
  • Scene 11. Kay Parker, John Leslie
  • Scene 12. Kay Parker, Jamie Gillis
  • Scene 13. Seka, John Holmes
  • Scene 14. Annette Haven, Paul Thomas
  • Scene 15. Annette Haven, Jamie Gillis
Date: March 27, 2022