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Downtown – Die nackten Puppen der Unterwelt (1975)

Everything about this noir-ish tale about a smalltime private dick (a tour-de-force performance by Franco himself) is wonderfully endearing. Hypnotic minutelong macro-close-ups of undulating vaginas, cheesy Lina Romay-cabaré-routines and a cool performance only Paul Müller is capable of (I love that guy). This movie has it all.

Franco’s private eye is hired by Lina Romay’s character to snare her husband with compromising photos of him canoodling with his mistress (The utterly gorgeous Martine Stedil). Needless to say, things go beump (no I didn’t spell it wrong, I merely emulated inspector Closeau) in the night and Franco has to do some real detective work.

I love the way Franco played the lead in this one. He glides around town like a little micro mini-pimp womanizing and looking sleepy (and sleazy, mind you) as always. I also like the way he bumps into the camera shaking the frame when jumping over a hedge.

And finally, we get to see the most blatant case of the director Franco taking care of the actor Franco, when throwing himself head first into a threesome with Lina Romay and Martine Stedil, eagerly masturbating them both, for real, on camera. That’s dedication to your art if I ever saw it.

And that’s the reason I’m a Francophile-He always has something unique up his sleeve you least expected to see. And, let’s face it, a fat man bobbing up and down between two vaginas, was truly unexpected. He shoots. He scores. Like always.